Are We More Focused on Having Than Being?

That was a line out of the movie Lucy, with Scarlet Johansson and Morgan Freemen, of course Morgan Freemen was the scholar researching the capacity of the human brain, Scarlet Johansson was the mule transporting drugs that once seeped inside her allowed her to use more of her brain then the average 10% they claim we use in theory.  I recommend the movie it was good but more importantly how that one particular scripted line really stuck with me in regards to modern day leadership and those moments I encounter out in corporate America whether I’m training on leadership or trying to create business with another.

“As humans it seems like we are more focused on having than being.”

It brings me back to the days of learning a few management theories in college.

1.     TQM- Productivity era, machines were becoming faster than man so we measured quality by productivity… and treated men like machines and this era produced emotionless leaders in corporate America

2.     Edward Deming philosophy on Statistical Product Quality Administration, Complicated name and theory but it excelled Japan to becoming economic leaders after WWII.

3.     MBO- Results era. How much more can we do and keep “objectives” and reward people, combo of Maslow and Pavlov…here doggy doggy, treat for you….. and oh my favorite….

4.     MBWO- Management by walking around…effective only if you make the appropriate changes when things are not working and having the difficult conversations before the big pink elephant shows up…otherwise you look like a creepy micro manager waiting for someone to do something wrong. It’s like a cop driving behind you, you still get hijacked by the experience whether you are doing something wrong or not.  


 All of these strategies were powerful in their own rights during their time and were relevant for growth and business.

Now, we are now in the Connection Era (emotional connection) Keeping connected to your business first through your team and then your clients in a magical dance of inspiring and thriving.

I recently created this post on FB that got an interesting response, I mentioned in the post that we don’t have an economic problem we have a leadership problem and here’s why I said that. From this statement here

“As humans it seems like we are more focused on having than being.”

Do more. have more. sell more. make more. buy more. share more. post more. get more.. be more?   As humans we don’t ever feel like we are good enough when we are not treated with respect, feeling valued and feeling heard, we keep striving for more or as leaders expecting more from others and it is robbing us of feeling connected and appreciated which robs of  happiness and joy.  (Please refer to my book chapter in Success in Beauty more is not always better when joy is not present)

So what is the difference between our focus on having and being when it comes to leadership?

·       Having a good team which is a result of being a good leader who leads by example = loyalty

·       Being present with others through having those ongoing connections= trust

·       Being present with yourself by having awareness when you are being a butthead= humility

·       Being aware when you are avoiding conflict or having difficult communications when you need to=courage

·       Being detached in a healthy way from certain expectations by having intentional communications first= authentic expectations and expression.

Business is thriving again, I am walking into billion $ businesses and seeing leaders not understanding  the fundamental principles of leadership and the value of connection, honesty, listening, understanding and appreciation to courageously step in and authentically communicate human to human.

My proof…When I am being my authentic self and standing strong in my brand  (connector) it seems as though the universe opens up to me I have more connection and joy.  When I am in fear not feeling connected and avoiding difficult situations or feeling judged my world closes down and I feel bad.  Being a powerful leader is about being first. You want to have more, then BE, by being present,  being authentic, being appreciative, being grateful to others is a start.  Try it on. 

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